I’m moved, still not satisfied
As the title says, I recently moved. Specifically, I moved to downtown Norfolk into a new apartment with my partner. This apartment community has multiple buildings and we happen to be a few floors above a nice tex-mex restaurant and a local creperie. I’ve never lived right in the middle of an urban area before—all of my apartments have been on their own plot of land with a parking lot surrounding the building. Living downtown, I now have to pay for monthly parking at the local garage and move-in was stressful, to say the least—meaning I had to get a street parking permit for the U-haul and hire movers to carry all my things through two (2) passenger elevators to the 4th floor.
That was two weeks ago now. I just had lunch with someone who is about to begin a fully-funded PhD CW program and is moving into a pretty nice apartment complex nearby— definitely nicer than ours, which is, in fact, a downgrade from my old one bedroom (it was the same rate as this new 2 bed 2 bath). Not to mention, this person writes every day. Two things I envy. That’s to say that it’s early days here at the new apartment, but I find myself at just about the same level of stress and dissatisfaction as this time last year. I’m sure some of you reading this know what it’s like: working a summer job, not earning enough to cover expenses so in a deficit, < 1 week away from going to a MFA residency on the other side of the country, which is a travel nightmare, and returning on an overnight flight (after spending 12 hours in the Reno airport) to my first day of new teacher training to be a public middle school teacher. “Yippee!” has been my new catchphrase lately because all of this is so NOT yippee. And yet, I still don’t know if it’s normal to be stressed about it to the extent that I must vent, or if I should just be like “eh, it is what it is.” Maybe you could tell me? lol.
Since last semester concluded at the end of April, I have not written anything substantial or read a book. Normal? Probably. Good? Probably not, considering I’m supposed to be a writer. But I haven’t had much inspiration, just the stress of the summer, and I am not the type to sit myself down each day and write, which I know is normal, thanks to some of my previous mentors who write similarly. I just can’t wait to get to the point where I don’t care so much about how I’m perceived and care only about what “fills my cup” and doing what makes me happy in the present, despite how busy I am with obligations. One month from now, the school year will have begun, and perhaps I can settle into a good rhythm, although I will be occupied with a full-time job, full-time school (based on number of credits, even in the low-res program), managing SNR, and reading for OP. But I can do it!
Right?
